I’ll never settle for a man.
We all say it. Yet, many of us women find ourselves with either unrealistic expectations and single or… settling.
Well, we aren’t really sure if we’re settling. Maybe we are just too “high maintenance” or expecting too much from someone.
The truth is, many of us women are fucking confused about what settling is anymore. We go through a constant internal debate about whether we are being a bitch or whether he just ain’t good enough.
Do I have personal issues I need to face or is he just not meeting my needs?
Should I leave and wait for someone better to come along or am I not appreciating what I have right in front of me?
What if… this is as good as it gets?
Honestly, I can’t figure this shit out either…
I can try though. Kinda have to for my sanity and because I know I’m not the only one to go through this.
Many men are raised to be cocky and not take shit from women, while women are raised to serve and submit and be loyal.
Want to know why women are so hard to deal with today, guys?
Because a woman’s internal voice is screaming “help!” or “hell no!” while her world is telling her “that’s the way it should be, don’t be difficult”. The man she cares about isn’t helping either because he doesn’t see how he loses if he can keep holding this higher position.
But you know what, ladies?
A real man would know how peaceful his life would be if he treated his woman with the upmost respect.
A real man would know he has the best place to come home to, a sanctuary, because he is so loyal and does what he has to and is supposed to do for his family.
A real man would know that his woman doesn’t criticise him to demean him but to help him grow because when he grows she grows too.
You see it’s a weak and insecure man that cannot handle a strong woman. A woman who knows what she wants. A woman who wants to take over the world with her man. A woman who can and will stand behind her man fully because he stands behind her too.
There is not one rock, but two and nothing can throw them off balance. They use each others strengths and love to go farther than they ever could by themselves because they know you can only go so far alone.
There is no “who wins” or “who loses” between them. Either they both win or they both lose. There’s no competition between them to prove who does more because that wouldn’t allow them to go as far.
So are you settling?
I think if you have taken the time to sort out your insecurities or the root of your insecurities and you truly have come to the place where he just isn’t enough, know your worth and be done.
If he was doing what he needed to do for you both then these thoughts would have no place in your mind. He would’ve either squashed them or never let them happen in the first place. If you’ve taken a step out of your emotions and it logically still looks like he isn’t worth it, then be gone girl!
This society has conditioned us to question ourselves too much when it comes to self-worth. They make us wonder if our hair, our makeup, facial structure, body, fashion, career is good enough.
Girl… that isn’t even the important or the good stuff!
The good stuff is internal. The good stuff is how you love someone. The good stuff is doing little things without him asking for it. The good stuff is respecting him enough to know he can handle the truth. The good stuff is being on his team and his biggest fan. The good stuff is doing all the things you’re supposed to do so he can do everything he’s supposed to do. The good stuff is knowing how to fight and win together.
That’s the good stuff.
Men, understand why a woman is acting out. Understand and don’t be ignorant to the fact that her reactions may (most likely) be because of your actions / inaction.
DO NOT simply complain about how crazy she is, or how she doesn’t know how to act. Take what you see and dig deeper. Look for what she’s really saying because that girl has probably given you so much of her and you are stepping on everything she’s giving you like it’s litter on a sidewalk.
Be honest and take responsibility to what YOU could have done different to receive a different response from her. Try that and see how your world changes.
Appreciation goes a long way and the better men know it.
Ladies, if he can’t do that, or chooses not to, then pack your bags because you will go much farther without that man holding you back.
You are amazing and I know you’ve turned inward every time to be better, but if he can’t do the same then you are settling.