Death, break ups, falling outs, war, etc. are all ways that we lose people. In nature, everything comes and goes, even people. Whether it was or wasn’t their choice to no longer be in our lives, we have to learn to let them go.
My process for accepting their departure and moving on is to change my perspective of the situation…
  1. What was their purpose in my life?
  2. What lessons did they teach me about myself?
  3. What lessons did they teach me to help serve others?

By packaging my time with them as a gift that I have received, I can focus on being grateful for that gift, which takes my focus off of losing someone.

Whether the reason behind losing that person was bitter or not, I find a way, no matter how big or small, to appreciate the time they had given me.
For those who do stay in our lives, we have to learn to let go of our expectations of them. You can want the most and support them healthily, but you cannot set their standards for them.
I often don’t realise that I’m setting expectations for others until my level of frustration with the person gets really high. They stress me out, drive me crazy, do stuff that they obviously shouldn’t or don’t do things that easily benefit them and repeat things that don’t work. My investment in them then appears bigger than their own investment to themselves (personal perspective at the time). That’s when I have to take a step back and ask…
  1. Why am I letting this person’s actions or lack of actions get to me?
  2. Is this an expectation I have placed or one that they have asked for help to reach?
  3. Am I stressing over something that is in my control?
  4. What can I focus on for myself instead? What deserves more of my energy and focus?
Relationships, friendships and family play such a huge part in our everyday lives that losing someone is like losing a part of ourselves sometimes.
We need to remind ourselves to never grow too emotionally dependent on anyone. That dependency can cause a lot of stress and turmoil in our daily lives as well as the persons. Not learning to let go of expectations and having a great dependency can be a sure way of losing someone for good.

Author: Cari Li
The Co-Founder of The Good Curves and Owner of,  an online Lifestyle Coaching company focused in women’s fat loss solutions. She has a huge passion for enabling women to find ways to live their happiest and healthiest life through simple lifestyle changes. Her love for travel has allowed her to gain a special perspective on life that she enjoys sharing with the many women she meets along the way as she strives to improve the lives of women everywhere. 

Follow her: 
Instagram: @Cari_Li
Facebook: @CoachCariLi

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