I’m so used to being on my own now that most days I don’t even really notice that longing feeling for a partner.
I look at my life and it’s so full of love and joy and peace. I have the most supportive family, a beautiful growing son, fun and encouraging friends, inspiring mentors, hobbies I enjoy, and a God a fully rely on. I’m full. I’m whole.
And yet, there’s this deep desire that creeps up from time to time that reminds me that I was made for partnership.
That at my core, I want to be the woman who creates a love and a home and a future with a man I can trust and give myself to.
Someone who’s also whole on his own. Who doesn’t want to go 50/50 in a relationship but 100/100. Who has a support system of his own, goals he’s working towards, a future he longs for, and things he’s passionate about.
I want to have the opportunity to serve those aspects of who he is. To encourage him, lift him up, and be a partner he couldn’t imagine living without.
On these days, when I do notice that lonely feeling, it’s hard not to regret past mistakes or failed relationships. Wondering if I’d done something different or made better choices if I’d have that partner already.
The ache for a partner can be overwhelming sometimes. But when it all boils down, and I really process through, I realize that where I am now is exactly what makes me the woman who wants to be all that in my future.
Letting people down taught me to stand stronger next time. Being let down gives me resilience. My support system reminds me of my value and worth when others have torn it down.
I’m confident that one day I’ll find the partner I’m waiting for. And I try to do so patiently, especially on the days it hurts to wait.
I spend these days being thankful for family, friends, and faith that gets me through it all. I’m already so deeply loved. I can’t wait to share that with my guy some day.